The Mitzvah of Criticism: Learning Pain, Not Blame, from Yosef and Yaakov

Rabbi Zweig opens by noting that criticism (tochacha) is both one of the 613 mitzvos and perhaps the mitzvah (מצוה) Jews perform most frequently—and most poorly. The parsha presents an apparent contradiction: in Vayechi, Yaakov waits until his deathbed to criticize his sons, and Chazal (cited by Rashi (רש"י) in Devarim via the Sifrei) derive a halachic principle that one should only criticize immediately before death. Yet in Vayigash, Yosef criticizes his brothers during his lifetime. How can criticism be a mitzvah if one must wait until death to perform it—and no one knows when he will die? Rabbi Zweig identifies a second problem in Yosef's words: "I am Yosef; is my father still alive?" The brothers are devastated and cannot answer. The Midrash explains that Yosef is pointing out their hypocrisy: they claimed concern for their father's survival when pleading not to take Binyamin, yet showed no such concern when they sold Yosef. But this criticism seems flawed on multiple grounds: (1) It is sarcastic, which rarely helps. (2) The logic is faulty—Yaakov did not die when Yosef was sold, so perhaps losing one son is bearable but two would be fatal. (3) The brothers believed they were acting correctly; they had judged Yosef as a threat to Klal Yisrael and felt justified in their verdict. Even in their later regret (recorded in last week's parsha), they only wish they had shown mercy when Yosef begged, not that their judgment was wrong. How can Yosef criticize them for an action they believed—and may have been correct—was right? And what does the Midrash mean when it says "on the day of judgment we will have no answer"? Did anyone ever think God would judge unfairly?