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Why does the Rambam (רמב"ם) say birkas chasanim 'don't create nissuin' rather than calling premature blessings invalid? The shiur develops a yesod that marriage isn't acquisition but recreation - both spouses must relinquish their individual identities to be transformed into a unified new entity. This explains why even one's own arushah is forbidden until chuppah completes the transformative process.
This shiur presents a profound reinterpretation of the nature of marriage in Jewish thought, moving away from the conventional understanding of marriage as acquisition to viewing it as a process of recreation and transformation. Rabbi Zweig begins with a fascinating halachic question from the Rambam (רמב"ם) in Hilchos Ishus regarding when birkas chasanim (wedding blessings) are recited and their relationship to the actual marriage ceremony. The discussion centers on a seeming contradiction in the Rambam's formulation: if someone performs erusin (betrothal) and recites birkas chasanim without proceeding to chuppah and yichud, the Rambam states that the woman remains only betrothed because 'the blessings don't create nissuin.' Rabbi Zweig questions why the Rambam doesn't simply explain that the blessings were premature and therefore invalid.
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Parshas Chayei Sarah - Rivka's blessing
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