A Healthy Sense of Mortality: The Foundation of True Happiness

Full Summary

Rabbi Zweig addresses what he considers one of the most important messages for ourselves and our families - developing a healthy sense of mortality. He begins with a question about the seemingly simple opening words of the Mishnah (משנה) in Pirkei Avos: 'Those that are alive are gonna die.' This appears to offer no new information, yet Rabbi Zweig demonstrates its profound significance. He explores the puzzling Ashkenazi custom of saying Yizkor on the three festivals (Pesach (פסח), Shavuos, and Sukkos (סוכות)), which has no early source and seems to contradict the obligation of simcha on holidays. Additionally, he references a Talmudic story of a rabbi who spoke at a wedding, delivering a six-word speech: 'Woe, we're gonna die. Woe, we're gonna die.' Rather than ruining the celebration, Rabbi Zweig argues this was actually a profound formula for happiness. The Rambam (רמב"ם)'s introduction to the Mishnah provides the key insight. The Rambam describes the ultimate foolishness of humanity: people who travel great distances, endure hardship and separation from family to make money, then use it to buy houses that will outlast them by hundreds of years when cheaper alternatives would suffice for their actual lifespan. This isn't about wasting money - it's about living in denial of mortality. Rabbi Zweig explains that denial of mortality prevents happiness in two crucial ways. First, when we believe we'll live forever, we develop unrealistic expectations. When these expectations are met, we feel no joy because we anticipated them. Only when we realize things might not happen - because we're mortal - can we experience genuine gratitude when they do occur. Second, if we think we have infinite time, any pleasure we don't experience today can be delayed indefinitely, preventing us from appreciating present opportunities. The Hebrew word 'asif' illuminates this concept beautifully. Sukkos is called 'Chag ha-asif' - both the harvest festival and, literally, the holiday of dying, since 'asif' means both harvest and death. We can only truly celebrate what we have when we acknowledge our mortality. The sukkah itself reinforces this - we leave our permanent homes to dwell temporarily in huts, reminding us we are only temporary residents in this world. Esav's sale of the birthright provides a crucial counterpoint. While Esav correctly recognized his mortality, he made a fatal error in thinking that serving God was for God's benefit rather than his own. He reasoned that since he might die in Temple service, why risk his limited time doing something for God rather than himself? This perspective 'shamed the birthright' because it fundamentally misunderstood that all mitzvos are opportunities for our benefit, not burdens we bear for God's sake. Rabbi Zweig emphasizes this is an essential message for our children. They should understand they have finite time and shouldn't live with unrealistic expectations. When good things happen, they should appreciate them as unexpected gifts rather than entitlements. Simultaneously, they must understand that Torah (תורה) and mitzvos are opportunities to benefit themselves during their limited time here, not sacrifices for God's benefit. The practical implications are profound. People sacrifice family relationships, health, and present happiness pursuing wealth they'll never need, buying security for lifespans they won't have. Modern society's denial of mortality has worsened this problem - elderly people dress like teenagers, undergo countless procedures to appear younger, and hoard money for centuries they'll never see instead of enjoying what they have. Rabbi Zweig concludes that embracing mortality is the foundation of genuine happiness. Like tourists who know their trip is limited, we should appreciate each experience, spend appropriately for our actual stay, and not expect to return. This perspective transforms obligations into opportunities and ordinary moments into sources of profound gratitude. The Mishnah's simple statement - 'Those that are alive are gonna die' - thus becomes the ultimate formula for a meaningful, joyful life.