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Why does Hagar abandon Yishmael as he dies, while the Shunamite woman holds her son until his last breath? The shiur develops a yesod that love is not measured by pleasure but by connection — genuine love embraces all of a person, including their struggles and messes, without diminishment. When a parent deals with a child's problems with love rather than shame, the child feels validated and secure.
The shiur opens with a striking contrast between two mothers facing their children's imminent deaths. Hagar, unable to bear watching Yishmael die, throws him under a bush and distances herself, saying "al ereh b'mos hayeled" — I cannot watch the child die. The Shunamite woman in the haftarah, by contrast, holds her dying child on her lap until he expires. Rabbi Zweig asks: what accounts for these radically different reactions? The answer emerges from a profound Midrash cited by Rashi (רש"י) regarding the para aduma (red heifer). The Midrash states: "The son of the maidservant defiled the palace — let the mother come and clean up her child's excrement." This teaches that just as a mother cleans up after her young child who soiled the king's palace, so too should the mother (the heifer) atone for her child's sin (the golden calf). Rabbi Zweig asks the obvious question: why wait for the mother? Doesn't the palace have custodial staff?
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Vayeira 21:15-16 (Hagar and Yishmael); Melachim II 4:18-20 (Shunamite woman)
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