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Why does the Torah (תורה) describe Leah as "snu'ah" (hated) when Yaakov clearly loved her? The shiur redefines sinah not as animosity but as "two separate agendas" — people can live together, even marry, while each pursues their own goals. True ahavah means making the other person your agenda, as Yaakov demonstrated by working seven years for Rochel.
The shiur tackles a fundamental difficulty in Parshas Vayeitzei: how could Leah be described as "snu'ah" (hated) when the Torah (תורה) earlier states that Yaakov loved her, just loved Rochel more? The Gemara (גמרא) in Bava Basra 123a asks how the Torah could speak negatively about Leah and answers that she "hated the ways of Eisav." Yet the simple peshat clearly indicates she felt hated by Yaakov, and the Maharsha in Berachos 20a questions how one could remain married to someone who is snu'ah, which should invalidate the marriage. Rabbi Zweig proposes a revolutionary understanding of the term "sonei" (enemy/hater). The root of sinah is not emotional animosity but rather the concept of being "shnayim" (two) or "sh'na" (different in Aramaic). A sonei relationship means two people with completely separate agendas who happen to share certain overlapping interests or conveniences. They may cooperate, share a home, even have children together, but fundamentally each person's life goals and priorities remain entirely their own. This explains the enigmatic pasuk in Mishlei: "Ne'emanim pitz'ei ohev ve'na'taros neshikos sonei" — the wounds of a lover are faithful, but the kisses of a sonei are burdensome. One can kiss a sonei; the relationship isn't characterized by fighting but by separateness.
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Bereishis 29:30-33 (Parshas Vayeitzei)
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