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Why is Shalom Zachar celebrated only for boys if it commemorates surviving birth? The custom addresses a specifically male dynamic where parents impose achievement expectations that can overshadow simple gratitude for having a child. Celebrating just the child's existence models unconditional acceptance and protects against the damaging pressure of predetermined ambitions.
This shiur explores the deeper meaning behind the Jewish custom of Shalom Zachar, addressing why this celebration is traditionally held only for newborn boys. Rabbi Zweig begins by citing Tosafos (תוספות), who explains that Shalom Zachar celebrates a child being saved from the dangers of birth and early life. This raises an obvious question: if we're celebrating survival, why wouldn't we celebrate the birth of girls as well, since they too face mortality risks, albeit at slightly lower rates? Rabbi Zweig explains that Chazal understood something profound about human nature and parenting. The true purpose of Shalom Zachar is to celebrate simply having a child - the mere fact that the child is viable and healthy. This celebration serves as a crucial reminder to focus on the blessing of the child's existence rather than imposing expectations for future accomplishments.
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