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How could Yaakov hate Leah, and why did God respond by giving them children? The shiur develops a yesod that Yaakov hated being thrust into an intimate marriage without choosing it, not Leah herself. God's solution—children—worked because for the Avos, motherhood was the primary definition of marriage, not companionship.
The shiur opens with a troubling question from Parshas Vayeitzei: how could the Torah (תורה) say that Yaakov hated Leah (Bereishis 29:31-33), when the avos exemplified outstanding character and the mitzvah (מצוה) of "ve'ahavta le'reicha kamocha"? Furthermore, why would God respond to this marital strife by opening Leah's womb and giving them more children—the exact opposite of what any marriage counselor would advise? Rabbi Zweig begins by analyzing the pathology of relationships that start well but turn intensely hostile. He explains that when people move from casual friendship to partnership or marriage, the number of contact points increases dramatically, and so does the potential for friction. More critically, the emotional investment deepens at each level. A neighbor requires minimal investment; if things go wrong, you lose little. But in marriage, where you've opened yourself completely and made yourself maximally vulnerable, each hurt cuts to your essence. This is why formerly loving couples can become bitter enemies—not because they made a mistake initially, but because the deeper the intimacy, the deeper the potential pain. The hatred emerges from the intensity of betrayed expectations at that intimate level, not from poor initial judgment.
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Bereishis 29:31-33, 30:23, 46:17
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