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When does Avos 4:18 forbid comforting someone who is angry, bereaved, or making vows? The Rambam (רמב"ם)'s approach reveals that legitimate emotions require validation, not interruption. True chesed (חסד) sometimes means giving people space to feel what they need to feel rather than rushing to 'fix' their pain.
This shiur examines the Mishna in Pirkei Avos (4:18) that teaches three situations where we should not attempt to comfort someone: when they are angry (shas kaso), when they have just lost a relative (before burial), and when they are making a vow (shas nidro). The Gemara (גמרא) in Brachos learns these laws from pesukim, particularly from Moshe Rabbeinu's interaction with Hashem (ה׳) after the sin of the Golden Calf. The shiur presents two major approaches to understanding this halacha (הלכה). Rabbeinu Yonah explains that attempting to comfort someone in these situations will only make them angrier - a practical psychological observation that seemingly wouldn't require a pasuk to teach. The Rambam (רמב"ם) in Hilchos De'os, however, presents a different understanding: comforting doesn't make the person angrier, but simply doesn't help.
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Pirkei Avos 4:18
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