The Torah Concept of Marriage as Oneness

Full Summary

Rabbi Zweig begins with the challenging Torah (תורה) law of the amah ivriyah (Hebrew maidservant), where a father can sell his daughter into servitude with the expectation that her master will marry her. He uses this difficult passage to explore deeper questions about the structure of marriage in Torah law, particularly why marriage obligations (support, clothing, and intimacy) are mentioned in this context rather than in other Torah discussions of marriage. The shiur addresses fundamental questions about marriage inequality, such as why only the husband can initiate divorce and why women are exempt from certain time-bound mitzvot. Rabbi Zweig explains that the Ran's teaching - that women are exempt from mitzvot because they are 'meshubad' (obligated) to their husbands - initially seems problematic, as it appears to prioritize human obligations over Divine service. Through analysis of Esau's marriages in Parshat Toldot and Vayishlach, Rabbi Zweig demonstrates that the Torah distinguishes between different types of marriages. The Talmudic teaching that sins are forgiven at marriage (mechilat avon) is illustrated through the name change from Machalat to Basmat. The core insight is that Torah marriage is not a partnership (where two individuals retain separate identities and either can dissolve the relationship) but rather the creation of a spiritual oneness. Just as Adam was originally created as one being with masculine and feminine aspects that were later separated, marriage represents the reunification of two halves into their original wholeness. This explains why certain marriages in the Torah are described with the phrase 'lo l'isha' (for him as a wife) - indicating the destined match - while others simply say 'l'isha' (as a wife). The Talmudic teaching that marriages are determined at conception for first marriages, but according to deeds for second marriages, supports this distinction between absolute oneness and partnership arrangements. Rabbi Zweig addresses the apparent contradiction about predetermined marriages versus free will by explaining that two halves of one soul influence each other's choices even when physically separated, creating a spiritual interconnectedness that affects their respective life paths. This oneness model explains the mitzvah (מצוה) structure: just as different organs in one body have different functions without creating resentment (hands put on tefillin while feet do not), so too a husband performing certain mitzvot benefits the wife equally, as they constitute one spiritual entity. The exemption of women from time-bound mitzvot is therefore not a limitation but a different expression of the same spiritual achievement within the unified marriage structure.