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How can Avos 5:10 suggest that saying 'what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours' might be either average behavior or Sodom's attitude? The shiur distinguishes between healthy independence and Sodom's error: Sodom refused help from the start out of fear that recipients would eventually abuse givers. True chesed (חסד) means helping genuine need while maintaining boundaries against actual manipulation.
This shiur examines a fascinating Mishna in Pirkei Avos (Chapter 5) that describes four character traits regarding attitudes toward giving and taking. The Mishna states that someone who says 'what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours' represents either an average person (midas habainonus) or, according to another opinion, displays the attitude of Sodom. Rabbi Zweig asks how the Sages could disagree about whether behavior resembling Sodom could be considered reasonable. The core question becomes: what exactly was wrong with Sodom? The shiur explores the philosophy behind saying 'what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours' - the belief that helping others can create unhealthy dependence. This perspective argues that when we give to people, we may be harming their independence and self-reliance. The giver may also suffer by creating a welfare mentality where recipients expect ongoing support.
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Pirkei Avos 5:10
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Why does Avos 5:15 describe student types as having 'good' or 'bad' portions rather than being 'righteous' or 'wicked'? The Rambam's distinction shows this Mishna addresses God-given intellectual abilities, not character traits changeable through effort. Parents must identify each child's actual capacities rather than imposing uniform academic expectations that can devastate children with different native gifts.
