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Why does Moshe complain that leading the Jewish people requires accepting being "stoned and cursed"? The shiur develops that parenting naturally involves conflict because children feel rejected when forced from the security of dependency into independence. The Torah (תורה)'s solution combines humility (patience for their struggles) with being an "ish milchamah" — giving measured responses that help rather than becoming an aggressor.
Rabbi Zweig analyzes a remarkable passage in Parshas Beha'aloscha where Moshe Rabbeinu, overwhelmed by the burden of leading the Jewish people, complains to Hashem (ה׳): "Did I conceive this people? Did I give birth to them that You tell me to carry them in my bosom like a nursemaid?" Rashi (רש"י) explains that Hashem had appointed Moshe with the understanding that the people might stone him and curse him. This leads to a profound insight about the nature of parenting and marriage. The shiur explains that Moshe's implicit message is that if he were their actual parent, he wouldn't be complaining about such treatment. This reveals that parenting inherently involves being prepared for hostility from one's children. Every human being is born with deep anger toward their parents because birth itself is traumatic — being expelled from the safety and security of the womb into a cold, uncertain world. Children naturally feel rejected and abandoned, even as they struggle with the conflicting desire for both security and independence.
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Parshas Beha'aloscha 11:11-16
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