Marriage as Transition: Life, Death, and the Timing of Shidduchim in Chayei Sarah

Rabbi Zweig analyzes a perplexing Midrash on Parshas Chayei Sarah that appears in Bereishis Rabbah 60:19. The Midrash addresses the phrase "le'eis erev le'eis tzeis hasho'avos"—at evening time, at the time when the water-drawers go out. The Midrash states that when a person goes to get married and hears dogs barking, he can understand what they are saying. Rashi (רש"י) and various commentators struggle with this Midrash: why would one consult barking dogs when seeking a match? The Yefei Toar suggests the Midrash is saying these "tests" (like Eliezer's) are meaningless, like listening to dogs bark—Hashem (ה׳) orchestrates matches regardless. Other meforshim offer different interpretations, but none fit the Midrash's language cleanly. Rabbi Zweig proposes a novel reading based on a Gemara (גמרא) in Bava Kamma (daf 60). The Gemara states that when dogs cry in a city, the Angel of Death is present; when dogs rejoice, Eliyahu HaNavi is there. Marriage, Rabbi Zweig explains, can be either the beginning of a person's death or the beginning of their geulah (redemption). Marriage is not merely a personal contract—it is a communal event, similar to death, requiring a minyan for sheva brachos and birkas erusin. The Gemara in Yevamos teaches that a man without a wife has no life, no Torah (תורה), no peace—marriage fundamentally transforms one's existence. Therefore, when going to a shidduch, one must listen to the "dogs"—to discern whether this marriage represents spiritual life (Eliyahu) or spiritual death (Malach HaMaves).