Yefas To'ar: War, Violence, and the Yetzer Hara

The shiur opens with several foundational questions on the yefas to'ar passage in Parshas Ki Seitzei. First, why does the Torah (תורה) use the language "ki seitzei" ("when you go out"), implying an optional war (milchemes reshus), when Rashi (רש"י) derives from this language that yefas to'ar is permitted only in milchemes reshus and not in milchemes mitzvah (מצוה)? If we already know from logic that one cannot marry a woman from the seven Canaanite nations (whom we are obligated to destroy), why does the Torah need to specify this? Second, the procedure itself is puzzling: the Torah commands shaving her head, letting her nails grow long, removing her expensive clothing, and having her cry for thirty days. Yet the Sifrei says "v'chashakta bah afilU she'einah na'ah"—you will desire her even though she is not beautiful. How can one desire her after making her so repulsive? Third, Rashi famously states that the Torah permits yefas to'ar because "lo dibbrah Torah keneged yetzer hara"—the Torah did not legislate against the evil inclination. But this itself is bewildering: the Torah constantly demands control over the yetzer hara. Why here does the Torah suddenly surrender? And if a person can control himself enough to wait thirty days, why can't he control himself entirely? Finally, the order of the procedures is unclear: why first shave her head, then let her nails grow, and only then remove her fancy garments? Wouldn't it make more sense to first remove the external attraction (clothing) before degrading her body? Rabbi Zweig builds toward a fundamental reframing. He notes that Rashi's language in Parshas Shemos establishes that "simlah" refers to expensive, elegant clothing. The Torah here says "v'heisirah es simlas shivyah"—she must remove the garments of her captivity. Rashi explains that captive women would dress in beautiful clothing to entice soldiers. This is not incidental color; the pasuk itself emphasizes "simlah," indicating fancy dress. The progression of procedures—shaving, nails, clothing, crying—suggests a two-stage degradation: first, making her physically ugly (head and nails); second, breaking her spirit (removing her status symbols and forcing her to mourn). The question is: why not stop at the first stage? If making her ugly is enough, why also break her spirit? And if the point is to make her unattractive, why does the Torah permit marrying her at all after she has become so repulsive?