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Why does the Torah (תורה) say Leah was "hated" when the previous verse says Yaakov loved her? The shiur traces the fundamental tension in marriage back to Gan Eden: men naturally treat wives as extensions of themselves (Adam calling her "isha," not giving her a name), while women can respond with destructive retaliation (Chava giving Adam the fruit). Lasting shalom bayis requires admitting these capacities and taking responsibility.
Rabbi Zweig addresses what he considers a profound insight into the institution of marriage, using this week's parsha and the dynamics of Yaakov's relationship with Leah as a springboard. The shiur begins by noting a troubling pattern in these parshas: after Rochel's death, Yaakov moves in with Rochel's maid rather than Leah, causing obvious hurt. More fundamentally, in last week's parsha the Torah (תורה) uses the word "snu'ah" (hated) to describe Leah's status, even though the previous verse explicitly states that Yaakov loved Leah—he simply loved Rochel more. The key textual analysis centers on Bereishis 29:30-31. The Torah states that Yaakov "loved Rochel more than Leah" (objective reality), then immediately says "Hashem (ה׳) saw that Leah was hated" (Leah's perception). When Leah has her second son Shimon, she says "Hashem heard that I was hated"—indicating that Hashem heard *from her* that she felt hated. This is Leah's subjective experience, not the objective reality. Yet the question remains: if Yaakov Avinu was aware his wife felt this way, why didn't he do everything possible to alleviate those feelings, as any sensitive person would?
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Bereishis 29:30-31, Bereishis 3:6
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