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Why did Yaakov succeed where Avrohom and Yitzchok struggled, achieving a "mitaso shleima"? Rashi (רש"י) on "Vayomer Yaakov le-echav" reveals that Yaakov treated his children as brothers—equals deserving respect—even though he was 85 years older. The lesson: elevate children to your level rather than descending to theirs or maintaining a hierarchical distance.
Rabbi Zweig examines the remarkable success Yaakov Avinu achieved in raising his children, in contrast to the challenges faced by Avrohom and Yitzchok. While Avrohom had Yishmael and Yitzchok had Esav, Yaakov's bed was complete (mitaso shleima)—all his children remained on the path of Torah (תורה). The shiur asks: was this merely fortune, or does the Torah provide insight into what made Yaakov's parenting so effective? The analysis begins with a chronological calculation establishing the enormous age gap between Yaakov and his children. Yaakov was 63 when he received the blessings, spent 14 years in Shechem, and arrived at Lavan's house at 77. He worked seven years before marrying, making him at least 84-85 when his first child was born. After twenty years with Lavan, when fleeing with his family, Yaakov was 97 years old while his oldest child was only 12-13 years old—a three-generation gap, like a grandfather to his eldest.
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Parshas Vayeitzei, Bereishis 31:46
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