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Why do we quote Lavan's blessing—"our sister, may you become thousands of myriads"—at Ashkenazi weddings when Lavan was a manipulative gangster who exploited his own daughters? The shiur argues that Lavan intended the blessing as a tool of control, ensuring Rivka would take charge of Yitzchok's household for Lavan's benefit. Yet Rivka used that same power for Yitzchok's sake, teaching that a wife's natural ability to guide the family should serve her husband's values, not her own agenda.
This shiur addresses a striking question: Why do Ashkenazi Jews preserve Lavan's blessing to Rivka—"our sister, may you become thousands of myriads, and may your descendants inherit the gates of their enemies" (Bereishis 24:60)—as the traditional blessing fathers give their daughters under the chuppah? Lavan was a notorious manipulator, a con man who treated his own daughters as commodities. He sold Rochel and Leah for Yaakov's labor and kept the proceeds for himself, leaving his daughters to declare, "He has treated us like strangers" (Bereishis 31:15). Why would such a wicked person suddenly express genuine devotion to his sister Rivka? And why would we adopt his words as our sacred wedding formula? Rabbi Zweig begins by analyzing the context. Lavan and his family send Rivka off with Eliezer, and the pasuk records: "They blessed Rivka and said to her, 'Our sister, may you become thousands of myriads…'" (24:60). The shiur notes that Lavan is the dominant brother throughout the negotiation—he speaks on behalf of the family, negotiates with Eliezer, and appears to be the rosh hamedabrim (chief spokesman). Yet the blessing itself sounds suspiciously self-serving. The phrase "achoseinu" ("our sister") may be Lavan's way of reminding Rivka that despite her marriage into Avrohom's aristocratic, wealthy family, she still belongs to her birth family. Lavan wants to ensure that Rivka attributes her future success—her wealth, her children—not solely to her new husband and father-in-law, but to her own family's influence and blessing.
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Bereishis 24:60
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