The Two Aspects of Forbidden Relationships: Physical Restraint vs Divine Dominion

Full Summary

This shiur presents a comprehensive analysis of the Torah (תורה)'s treatment of forbidden relationships (arayot), addressing several fundamental questions about their structure and purpose. Rabbi Zweig begins by noting that the prohibitions appear in Parshat Acharei Mos while the punishments appear in Parshat Kedoshim, with different topics intervening - a structure that requires explanation. The shiur examines two major approaches to understanding the rationale behind these prohibitions. The Rambam (רמב"ם) in Moreh Nevuchim, supported by Ibn Ezra, argues that the purpose is to reduce excessive contact between men and women, since relatives are frequently around and easily accessible. The Ramban (רמב"ן) strongly critiques this position, arguing that if limiting contact were the goal, the Torah should restrict the number of wives one can marry rather than prohibiting specific relationships. He notes that logically, marrying within the family would solve many practical problems - financial disputes, in-law conflicts, and property inheritance issues. Rabbi Zweig reinterprets the Rambam's position, explaining that the issue is not the frequency of contact but its quality. The fundamental problem begins with Adam's creation. Originally created as both male and female (zachar u'nekeva baram), Adam was surgically separated by Hashem (ה׳). Rashi (רש"י) explains that this was necessary because 'lo tov heyot ha'adam levado' - not because man would be lonely, but because complete self-sufficiency would lead man to compare himself to Hashem, thinking there are two complete beings: Hashem ruling the heavens and man ruling the earth. Marriage to relatives (she'er basaro - literally 'the rest of his flesh') recreates this problematic dynamic. With relatives, there's no need to build relationships or consider the other person's needs - one simply takes what they want, like the original complete Adam. This reduces human interaction to animal instinct rather than relationship-building. The Torah requires marriage outside the family to ensure that intimate relationships involve genuine relating to another person on their terms, creating necessary separation and preventing purely instinctual behavior. The Gemara (גמרא) in Shabbos (שבת) provides supporting evidence: mitzvot that Israel accepted joyfully are still performed joyfully, while those accepted grudgingly (like the prohibition of arayot, which caused people to cry 'al iskei mishpachotehem' - about their family matters) are still performed with difficulty. This manifests today as 'leka ketuva de'lo rami be'tigra' - there's no wedding where the sides don't fight, because marriage now requires each party to make the other happy rather than simply taking what they want. The shiur identifies two distinct spiritual dangers in forbidden relationships. The first, addressed in Parshat Acharei Mos through the language of 'gilui ervah' (uncovering nakedness), concerns becoming like animals - acting on pure instinct without relationship-building. The second, addressed in Parshat Kedoshim through the language of 'shechivah' (lying with), involves the more severe consequence of feeling like a master of one's universe, leading to the ultimate spiritual crime of comparing oneself to Hashem. This explains why Parshat Kedoshim begins with avodah zarah (idolatry) and mekalel av v'eim (cursing parents) - both expressions of refusing to acknowledge higher authority. The death penalty for arayot stems not from the physical act itself, but from the spiritual arrogance of feeling 'echad be'tachtonim' (unique in the lower world) as Hashem is 'echad be'elyonim' (unique in the upper world). The shiur concludes by addressing the apparent contradiction that both Kayin and Yaakov Avinu married relatives. Regarding Kayin, Chazal say 'chesed (חסד) hu' - Hashem did a kindness by temporarily sharing His dominion to allow the world's population. For Yaakov, whose entire spiritual essence was recognizing Hashem's absolute unity (as expressed in 'Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem echad'), there was no danger of spiritual arrogance, making such marriages permissible for him specifically.