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Why does Rochel say "Asaf Elokim es kerposi" — God removed my shame — when she finally has a child? The shiur develops a fundamental principle: hakaras hatov doesn't require that a favor come with no cost. As long as the benefit outweighs the price, you owe gratitude — even when there's a real downside. Rochel can now say to Yaakov: the broken vessels and challenges are the legitimate price of having a wife who gives you children.
Rabbi Zweig opens with Rochel's response after giving birth to Yosef: "Asaf Elokim es kerposi" — God gathered in (removed) my shame (Bereishis 30:23). Rashi (רש"י) presents a puzzling Midrash Agadah: until a woman has a son, she has no one to blame her mistakes on. Once she has a child, she can tell her husband, "Your son broke that vessel, your son ate that food." The shiur asks: What kind of praise is this? Are we celebrating that now she can finally lie and shift blame to her child? And why does the Torah (תורה) use the strong language of "cherpa" (shame/curse), which Rashi says means "giduf" (cursing) everywhere? The shiur connects this to another Rashi: when Bnei Yaakov negotiate with Shechem, they say it would be a "cherpa" to give their sister to an uncircumcised man. Rashi explains "cherpa" as "giduf bechol makom" — a curse/disgrace. Additionally, Rashi in Vayikra notes that "chesed (חסד)" in Aramaic means "cherpa." This linguistic connection — chesed and cherpa being synonyms — becomes a key to understanding the entire concept.
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Bereishis 30:23 (Parshas Vayishlach)
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