Understanding the Nature of Marriage and Divorce in Jewish Law

Full Summary

The shiur begins with an analysis of the Maharsha's question about why the Torah (תורה) mentions gittin before kiddushin, and what the word 'teva' (nature) means in this context. Rabbi Zweig suggests that the Rambam (רמב"ם)'s statement that 'yetziah comes before v'haysah' means that divorce (get) should only be given when the woman intends to remarry, as the mitzvah (מצוה) of giving a get exists solely for the purpose of enabling remarriage. The fundamental insight developed is that kiddushin represents a merger between two entities - a zachar and nekeivah - making them truly one. A get, therefore, is described as an amputation, a tremendous tragedy that separates what was unified. Rabbi Zweig argues that if a woman has no intention of remarrying, perhaps there should be no obligation to give a get, as this would avoid creating an unnecessary amputation while maintaining the spiritual connection. The shiur explores several halachic ramifications of this approach, including cases where a woman becomes forbidden to her husband (such as through adultery) but doesn't plan to remarry. Rabbi Zweig suggests that the prohibition against living together doesn't necessarily require formal divorce - the separation itself may be sufficient without dissolving the marriage bond. A crucial Gemara (גמרא) from Bava Metzia is analyzed, which states that three people descend to Gehinnom and never ascend: one who embarrasses someone publicly (malbim pnei chavero b'rabim), one who commits adultery with a married woman (ba'al eishet ish), and one who calls someone a derogatory nickname (mekhaneh shem l'chavero). Rabbi Zweig explains that these three sins share a common element - they attack the very essence of a person's being, separating them from themselves. The discussion connects this to the concept that marriage represents the core of a person's existence. Taking someone's wife is not merely theft (gezelah) but a violation of the husband's essence, literally taking him away from himself. This explains why adultery with a Jewish woman is more severe than other forms of theft - it touches the deepest level of human existence. The shiur then addresses why fish survived the flood in the generation of the mabul but will perish in the future punishment described in the Gemara. Rabbi Zweig explains that in the dor hamabul, fish weren't affected by human corruption because they live in a completely different environment. However, the type of spiritual corruption created by improperly understanding marriage and divorce is so severe that it affects even the fish, representing a total breakdown of the world's moral order. The practical application is profound: Batei Din (Jewish courts) that issue gittin without fully understanding the gravity of what marriage and divorce represent send a dangerous message to the community. They inadvertently promote the view that marriage is merely a business arrangement that can be dissolved when inconvenient, rather than a sacred merger of souls. This attitude makes people more likely to treat adultery as simple theft rather than recognizing it as a devastating attack on human essence. Rabbi Zweig emphasizes that this perspective applies specifically to Jewish marriage, as non-Jewish marriage lacks this level of sanctity and is indeed more like a business partnership. The uniquely Jewish understanding of marriage as a spiritual merger makes the violation of eishet ish among Jews qualitatively different and more severe. The shiur concludes by reinforcing that the Rambam's formulation teaches us that yetziah (divorce) must be for the sake of v'haysah (remarriage), meaning that divorce should only occur when it serves the purpose of enabling a proper marriage. This understanding preserves the sanctity of marriage and prevents the casual attitude toward divorce that can lead to broader moral decay in the community.