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Why would an angel tell Hagar to return to Sarah's abuse? Targum Onkelos translates the same Hebrew word as actual abuse when Hagar flees, but as mere work when the angel commands her return. The insight: most relationship conflicts stem from unrealistic expectations rather than objective mistreatment—the solution is lowering our expectations, not raising demands for special treatment.
This shiur examines the complex relationship dynamics between Sarah, Avrohom, and Hagar through the lens of expectations and perceived abuse. The story begins when Sarah, after ten years of childlessness, suggests Avrohom have a child through her maidservant Hagar. When Hagar becomes pregnant, she begins denigrating Sarah, leading Sarah to blame Avrohom and subsequently treat Hagar harshly. Hagar flees, claiming abuse, but an angel tells her to return and "take abuse under Sarah's hands." The rabbi addresses the apparent contradiction: why would an angel tell someone to return to an abusive situation? The answer lies in understanding that Targum Onkelos translates the same Hebrew word for "abuse" differently in each instance - first as actual abuse when Hagar flees, but as "work for her" when the angel instructs her return. This suggests that Sarah's behavior wouldn't change, but Hagar's perspective would.
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Parshas Lech Lecha - Hagar and Sarah story
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