Vayeishev: Avihem vs. Avihim—The Intent Behind Reporting Wrongdoing

Rabbi Zweig opens with a precise textual question from Parshas Vayeishev: when the Torah (תורה) describes Yosef bringing bad reports about his brothers to Yaakov, it uses the term "avihem" (their father) rather than the more expected "avihim" (his father). This seemingly minor grammatical choice—four letters instead of five—conceals a fundamental yesod about intention and speech. Rabbi Zweig explains the practical difference between the two formulations. When you go to "your father" to report wrongdoing by others, you are implicitly drawing a contrast: your father should appreciate that you are good while someone else's son is bad. You are seeking credit. Conversely, when you go to "their father"—someone else's parent—to report that his child is misbehaving, your only plausible motivation is to help, because it is against your self-interest. Parents do not forget criticism of their children, and telling a parent bad news about his child makes you an enemy, even if the parent believes you mean well.