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Why did Yaakov bow to Yosef after securing burial arrangements, yet only gesture respect during the bikkur cholim visit? The shiur distinguishes two forms of prostration: bowing as profound gratitude (permissible even to a son) versus bowing as subjugation (forbidden to a child). When Yaakov desperately needed burial in Eretz Yisrael, his opening "im na matzasi chen" was deliberate—you must never pressure someone into a favor, especially when you need it most.
Rabbi Zweig analyzes two puzzling Rashis in Parshas Vayechi concerning Yaakov's interactions with Yosef. In the first episode, when Yaakov secures Yosef's promise to bury him in Eretz Yisrael rather than Egypt, the Torah (תורה) records that Yaakov "bowed down" (vayishtachu). Rashi (רש"י) comments that this teaches "to a fox at the proper time when he's able to get something done, you bow down to him." In the second episode, during Yosef's bikkur cholim visit to his ailing father, the Torah states that Yaakov "strengthened himself" (vayischazek Yisrael), and Rashi explains that even though Yosef is his son, Yaakov showed him honor because he is a king. The apparent contradiction is striking: in the first case, where Yosef is functioning in his official capacity as viceroy and using his political power, Rashi describes him as a "fox" rather than emphasizing his kingship; in the second case, where Yosef comes as a son on a personal visit, Rashi emphasizes the honor due to a king. Rabbi Zweig resolves this by carefully distinguishing between two fundamentally different forms of prostration or honor. The key insight is that the first episode uses the term "vayishtachu" (he bowed down), while the second uses "vayischazek" (he strengthened/made an effort). Rashi is teaching that a father may never engage in true hishtachava'ah—complete self-negation and subjugation—before his son. Such an act conveys "I am nothing compared to you," which is inappropriate in the parent-child relationship. However, a father may show gestures of respect, especially when the son holds a position of authority like kingship. In the second episode, Yaakov's gesture was precisely that—a show of respect for the office, not an act of self-negation. Hence Rashi's comment: even though he's my son (and I normally wouldn't do this), he's a king (so a gesture of respect is appropriate).
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Bereishis 47:29-31
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