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Why does the Torah (תורה) command 'be holy because I am holy' when humans cannot match divine holiness? The shiur develops that kedoshim means preserving the integrity of identity - seeing people as they truly are, not just as they appear to our desires. This explains why marriage is called kiddushin: genuine connection requires maintaining separateness.
Rabbi Zweig begins by examining the structure of Parshas Acharei Mos-Kedoshim, questioning why the laws of immorality are split with holiness laws in between. He focuses on the command 'Kedoshim tihyu ki kadosh ani' - 'You shall be holy because I am holy' - noting the seeming impossibility of humans emulating God's holiness. The rabbi explores two definitions of kadosh: holiness/sanctity and separation/setting apart, referencing the famous debate between Ramban (רמב"ן) (holiness means self-limitation even within permitted activities) and Rashi (רש"י) (holiness means separation from immorality). Rabbi Zweig questions why the Torah (תורה) uses the term 'kedoshim' instead of directly commanding against immorality, especially when the surrounding laws seem unrelated to sexual ethics. He then analyzes the law requiring awe of parents, noting how the Torah reverses the typical order - mentioning mother before father for awe, versus father before mother for honor in the Ten Commandments. Rashi explains this addresses natural tendencies: children naturally honor mothers more (due to her pleasant words and care) but fear fathers more (due to his authority). Rabbi Zweig asks why this ordering matters if both parents require both honor and awe regardless. His answer reveals the essence of holiness: the Torah demands equal awe and honor for both parents, not just following natural inclinations. This teaches two fundamental principles of holiness. First, recognizing separateness - that we are not the center of the universe and cannot take relationships for granted. Second, and more profoundly, seeing people as they truly are rather than merely how they appear to us in our selfish perception. A mother deserves awe not just honor because of who she truly is, not just her nurturing role. A father deserves honor not just awe because of who he truly is beyond his authoritative role. This connects to the laws of immorality - we must see potential partners as they truly are, not as they appear to our desires. A married woman is truly unavailable regardless of attraction; relatives are truly inappropriate regardless of familiarity. Rabbi Zweig explains that true holiness means 'retaining the integrity of the identity of the object while allowing access to it.' Like God who is simultaneously completely separate yet fills the entire world with His glory, healthy relationships require maintaining separateness while enabling genuine connection. This explains why marriage is called kiddushin - sanctification through preserving distinct identities while sharing intimate space. The rabbi connects this to Shabbos (שבת) sanctification and the laws of offerings requiring proper intention, showing how the entire theme of Sefer Vayikra - including the story of Aharon's sons who violated proper process - teaches respect for separateness as prerequisite for meaningful connection. He concludes that selflessness, not selfishness, enables us to see things as they truly are rather than merely as extensions of ourselves.
Parshas Acharei Mos-Kedoshim, Vayikra 19:1-3
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