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When the Torah (תורה) says a man who finds "ervat davar" (adultery) in his wife should divorce her if she doesn't find favor in his eyes, does that mean divorce is optional? A Tosafos (תוספות) in Zevachim 2b holds he is forbidden to live with her but not obligated to divorce her. The shiur explores the radical implication: once divorced, he can never remarry her—yet while married, staying together (without relations) remains permissible, preserving children and reputation.
The shiur tackles a difficult pasuk in Parshas Ki Seitzei (Devarim 24:1) regarding divorce when a husband discovers his wife has committed adultery. The verse states: "When a man takes a wife and lives with her, and it happens that she does not find favor in his eyes because he found in her ervat davar, he shall write her a bill of divorce, give it into her hand, and send her away from his house." The difficulty is straightforward: if "ervat davar" means she committed adultery—making it forbidden for him to live with her—why does the Torah (תורה) phrase it conditionally ("if she does not find favor in his eyes")? He has no choice; the relationship is over. Rabbi Zweig proposes an answer rooted in a startling Tosafos (תוספות) in Masechet Zevachim (daf 2, amud beis). Tosafos states that a man whose wife has been mezanah (unfaithful) is indeed forbidden to have relations with her, but he is not actually obligated to divorce her. This is parallel to other cases in halacha (הלכה) where a prohibition exists without an accompanying obligation to sever the marriage bond—for example, a man who becomes a Kohen is forbidden to live with certain wives but is not required to divorce them. According to Tosafos, the same applies to a woman who committed adultery: the husband may not live with her, but divorce itself is not mandated.
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Devarim 24:1
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