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Why did great figures like Avrohom and Yitzchok fail to properly discipline their children? The shiur unpacks the Midrash on "He who spares the rod hates his child," distinguishing between loving a child and hating the responsibility of parenting. True parenting requires binah—deep involvement, setting boundaries, and commitment to Torah (תורה) values—even when discipline creates painful distance.
Rabbi Zweig opens by addressing a question about the phrase "Yaakov hated Leah"—how can the Torah (תורה) mean this literally? He suggests that one can love a person while hating the relationship or responsibility that comes with it. Yaakov loved Leah as a person but struggled with her as his wife, just as one can love a child as a person but hate the overwhelming responsibility of parenting. This distinction sets the stage for the shiur's exploration of what authentic parenting demands. The Midrash on Parshas Shemos teaches that "He who spares the rod hates his child." It goes on to say that Avrohom failed with Yishmael, Yitzchok with Esau, and Dovid with Avshalom and Adoniyahu, while Yaakov succeeded with all his children. Rabbi Zweig asks: Why does this Midrash appear in Sefer Shemos rather than Bereishis? And how could such great figures fail in this fundamental duty?
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Shemos - opening Midrash on parenting and discipline
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