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Why does the Gemara (גמרא) compare marriage to a man searching for his lost object, yet describe it using language of force? The analysis reveals that Adam originally controlled both himself and Chavah as one being, creating a dangerous god-complex. True marriage requires overcoming the male instinct to regain that control and instead honoring one's wife as an equal partner.
This shiur analyzes a fundamental question about marriage language in the Torah (תורה). The Gemara (גמרא) compares marriage to a person searching for a lost object (aveida), with the man as the 'baal aveida' (owner of the lost item) seeking what was taken from him. However, this raises questions: why doesn't the woman (the 'aveida') seek to return to the man, as lost objects sometimes do? And why does the Torah use language that implies force (bal korach) when describing marriage? The speaker explains that the Gemara's comparison to theft (genevah) rather than robbery (gezeilah) is significant. In genevah, the victim doesn't know something is missing until later. When Adam fell into deep sleep and awoke to find a woman, he discovered something had been taken (his rib) but received something better in return, similar to someone who has silver stolen but gets gold back.
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Kiddushin - marriage laws and aveida comparison
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