The Wicked Son: Divine Compassion as Model for Parental Response

Full Summary

Rabbi Zweig addresses three interconnected questions from Parshas Bo that illuminate a profound principle about dealing with assimilation and wayward children. The first question concerns why the Haggadah gives the wicked son a different answer than what appears in the Torah (תורה) - the Torah says to explain the Pesach (פסח) offering, while the Haggadah responds 'for me and not for you, had you been there you wouldn't have been redeemed.' The second question asks why the Torah says to 'borrow from your friend (re'eh)' when re'eh typically means a fellow Jew, yet we were supposed to borrow from Egyptians. The third question explores why foreign captives needed to be killed in the plague of the firstborn when originally only Egyptians were targeted. The answer lies in understanding our spiritual state in Egypt. The Jewish people had descended to the 49th level of impurity, one step away from total assimilation. They identified as Egyptians - their 'friends' were Egyptians, they had abandoned circumcision, and were steeped in idolatry. When God decreed death upon 'all Egyptian firstborn,' this included the Jews because they perceived themselves as Egyptians. Foreign captives weren't included because they remained distinct from Egyptian society. When the verse describes the people's response to hearing about future generations asking questions, they prostrated themselves. This wasn't mere gratitude but accepting a sacred commitment. They were committing to treat their wayward children the same way God treated them - with rachmanus (compassion). The wicked son represents the child who wants to assimilate out of Judaism, just as the Jews in Egypt wanted to remain Egyptian. The Torah's message preceding any answer to the wicked son is crucial: remember that you were once in his exact position. You identified with Egypt, wanted to assimilate, abandoned Jewish practices, and by all rights should have perished with the Egyptians. God saved you not because you deserved it, but because of pure compassion - you were still His children despite everything. This principle extends beyond family to community responsibility. A community is defined not by excluding the wicked but by commitment to them. This explains why Jewish communal prayers require the presence of even the wicked, and why Yom Kippur begins by declaring we pray alongside transgressors. The deeper principle is that whatever kindness someone shows us obligates us to show the same kindness to others. Parents don't repay their own parents directly, but by treating their children as their parents treated them. God's undeserved compassion to us creates an obligation to show that same compassion to others, especially our own children who may be walking the path of assimilation we once walked ourselves.