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Why does the Haggadah give the wicked son a harsher answer than what appears in the Torah (תורה)? The Jews in Egypt had assimilated to the 49th level of impurity and identified as Egyptians. God's undeserved compassion in saving them despite their spiritual state creates the model for how parents must treat their own wayward children with rachmanus.
Rabbi Zweig addresses three interconnected questions from Parshas Bo that illuminate a profound principle about dealing with assimilation and wayward children. The first question concerns why the Haggadah gives the wicked son a different answer than what appears in the Torah (תורה) - the Torah says to explain the Pesach (פסח) offering, while the Haggadah responds 'for me and not for you, had you been there you wouldn't have been redeemed.' The second question asks why the Torah says to 'borrow from your friend (re'eh)' when re'eh typically means a fellow Jew, yet we were supposed to borrow from Egyptians. The third question explores why foreign captives needed to be killed in the plague of the firstborn when originally only Egyptians were targeted. The answer lies in understanding our spiritual state in Egypt. The Jewish people had descended to the 49th level of impurity, one step away from total assimilation. They identified as Egyptians - their 'friends' were Egyptians, they had abandoned circumcision, and were steeped in idolatry. When God decreed death upon 'all Egyptian firstborn,' this included the Jews because they perceived themselves as Egyptians. Foreign captives weren't included because they remained distinct from Egyptian society.
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Parshas Bo, Exodus 12:26-27
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