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Why did Rashi (רש"י) criticize Lavan for speaking before his father Besuel when negotiating Rivka's marriage, yet when Shechem sought forgiveness, Yaakov's sons spoke instead of him? The Taz addresses this discrepancy. Rabbi Zweig offers an alternative answer based on negotiation dynamics: when seeking to take something (a bride), the principal party (the father) must speak; when offering compensation, it's proper for others to speak on behalf of the recipient.
This shiur examines a question raised by the Taz regarding apparent inconsistencies in how Torah (תורה) narratives present negotiation protocols. The Taz notes that when Eliezer came to negotiate Rivka's marriage with her family, the Torah states "Vaya'an Lavan uVesuel" (Lavan and Besuel answered). Rashi (רש"י) criticizes Lavan as a rasha because "he answered before his father" (hoy ov ekapat lo hashiv lechenayav), suggesting that a son speaking before his father demonstrates improper conduct and disrespect. However, the Taz points out an apparent contradiction: When Shechem and his father Chamor came to Yaakov to negotiate regarding Dinah after the incident at Shechem, the Torah says "Vaya'anu bnei Yaakov es Shechem" (the sons of Yaakov answered Shechem), not Yaakov himself. If it was inappropriate for Lavan to speak before his father, why was it acceptable for Yaakov's sons to speak instead of their father?
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Bereishis 24:50 (Lavan and Besuel), Bereishis 34:13 (Yaakov's sons answer Shechem)
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