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Why does the Gemara (גמרא) mention gittin before kiddushin when marriage chronologically precedes divorce? The Maharsha's question unlocks a profound chiddush: every marriage involves God as a third partner and husband to the woman. When divorce occurs, both the earthly husband and God divorce her, but unlike human love, divine love survives betrayal and allows God to return as husband in remarriage.
Rabbi Zweig examines a fundamental question raised by the Maharsha regarding the Gemara (גמרא)'s statement 'kol shelo yodea betiv gittin v'kiddushin lo ya'asok bo' - whoever doesn't know gittin and kiddushin well shouldn't get involved. The Maharsha asks why the Gemara mentions gittin before kiddushin when chronologically marriage precedes divorce. The Rambam (רמב"ם) explains this follows the Torah (תורה)'s order in the passage 'v'yatza v'haysa' where divorce is mentioned before remarriage. However, Rabbi Zweig demonstrates that the Rambam's language reveals something much deeper. The Rambam unusually emphasizes 'sheamar HaKadosh Baruch Hu' - that God said this, rather than simply citing the verse. This connects to the Gemara in Masechta Sotah where a sotah who becomes widowed before drinking the bitter waters cannot perform yibum because the verse states she should go 'l'ish acher v'lo l'yavam' - to another man, not to the brother-in-law. The Gemara explains this with 'rachmana amar' - God said. Rabbi Zweig explains that Rashi (רש"י) teaches us the phrase 'ish ish' in the sotah passage indicates the woman betrays two husbands: God and her earthly husband. This reveals that in every marriage, God is also a husband to the woman. Therefore, when she receives a get, two divorces occur: the earthly husband divorces her through writing, and God divorces her through speech ('rachmana amar'). The remarkable chiddush is that while a human husband cannot take back a wife who betrayed him, God's love survives betrayal and allows remarriage. The order of gittin before kiddushin in the Gemara teaches us that God participates in both the first and second marriages. Even after the woman's betrayal of God in the first marriage, God returns as husband in the second marriage, demonstrating that divine love transcends human betrayal. This transforms our understanding of marriage from a private contract between two people to a three-way partnership where God is an active participant and husband.
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Gittin 3a
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