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Why does Rashi (רש"י) say Avrohom violated a character principle by not returning to the same inns on his journey back from Egypt? The shiur unpacks the Gemara (גמרא)'s two-part answer: personal service consumes another's self-respect, which money alone cannot restore. First, you must show appreciation by returning. Second, you must transform the relationship from transaction to friendship—because friends who serve each other are never demeaned. The application extends to tipping, marriage, and the two kinds of wealth Israel received: Egyptian compensation versus God's love gift at the Red Sea.
The shiur opens with a Rashi (רש"י) in Parshas Lech Lecha (13:3) stating that Avrohom returned to the exact same lodgings on his way back from Egypt that he had used on the way down. Rashi presents this as a principle of proper character: a person should not change his lodgings. The question is raised: what kind of law is this, and how does it apply? Can one never switch hotels, dry cleaners, or banks? The answer must lie in understanding what type of service triggers this obligation. The Gemara (גמרא) in Erchin 16b provides two reasons for this law, using two distinct terms: *pogem* (demeaning the other) and *nifgam* (demeaning oneself). The first reason—*pogem*—is that by not returning, you are slighting the person who served you the first time, implying their service was inadequate. But the deeper insight is that you are not merely showing ingratitude; you are actively demeaning them. The shiur explains that the obligation to return applies specifically when someone has performed *personal service*—service that inherently involves a loss of dignity or self-respect. Examples include a hotelier who personally attends to your needs, a barber, a shoe-shine attendant, or a waiter. These are not mere business transactions; the server is demeaning himself by acting as your personal attendant. Money compensates for the labor, but it does not restore the lost dignity. By returning, you communicate: "Your service was valuable, and I honor you for it." This restores some of the self-respect that was consumed.
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Bereishis 13:3
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