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Why is a married woman exempt from honoring her parents? The shiur analyzes the machloket between Rashi (רש"י) (husband can prevent her), Tosafos (תוספות) (she's focused on her husband), and the Rambam (רמב"ם)'s approach that yirah redefines kavod. The Rambam's reading shows she remains obligated in the internal feeling of kavod and yirah even while exempt from certain actions, so the obligation returns immediately upon divorce.
This shiur presents an in-depth analysis of Kiddushin 30b, which discusses the Torah (תורה)'s formulation "Ish imo v'aviv tira'u" — a man and his mother and father you shall fear. The Gemara (גמרא) derives that a man is obligated in kibud av v'eim (honoring parents) but a married woman is not, because she is "b'reshus acheirim" (under someone else's authority — her husband's). The shiur explores several fundamental questions: What exactly does the pasuk add to what we already know from sevara? If a husband can prevent his wife from honoring her parents, why do we need a pasuk? And what happens when she gets divorced — does the obligation return? The shiur begins by presenting Rashi (רש"י)'s approach. Rashi understands "reshus acheirim" to mean that the husband has the legal authority to prevent his wife from fulfilling kibud av. A man has no one who can prevent him (ein sipuk b'yado), but a woman's husband can object (yesh sipuk b'yado). According to this reading, the pasuk teaches that a married woman is exempt even without explicit objection from her husband — the default assumption is that she needs permission. The shiur explains Rashi's comment that when divorced she becomes "like her brother" — this means she was always obligated in the mitzvah (מצוה) itself, only the husband's authority prevented her from fulfilling it. Therefore, unlike a brother who has been fulfilling the mitzvah and might have a chazakah, when she gets divorced, her obligation returns immediately.
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Kiddushin 30b
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