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How can Eicha 1:21 blame Hashem (ה׳) for making exile harsh by forbidding intermarriage with our oppressors? The shiur uses Rashi (רש"י) on Shir Hashirim to show that love means exclusive dependency, not mutual service. Hashem's demand for exclusivity creates His obligation to sustain us even in deserved exile.
This shiur, delivered during the period of Ben Hametzarim (the Three Weeks leading to Tisha B'Av), explores a profound passage from Eicha (Lamentations) that reveals the nature of the covenant relationship between Hashem (ה׳) and Klal Yisrael. Rabbi Yeshaya Greenberg ZT"L analyzes the seemingly audacious complaint in Eicha 1:21 where the Jewish people tell Hashem that He is responsible for the nations' cruelty toward them during exile. Rashi (רש"י) explains that the verse "Ki atah asisa" (because You have done it) means that Hashem caused the nations to hate us by separating us from their food, drink, and intermarriage - if we had been allowed to intermarry, they would have mercy on us as their own grandchildren. This appears to be an outrageous complaint - blaming Hashem for making exile difficult by not allowing us to sin through intermarriage. To understand this, Rabbi Yeshaya Greenberg ZT"L turns to Rashi's commentary on Shir Hashirim 6:3, "Dodi li va'ani lo" (My beloved is mine and I am his). Rashi explains this counterintuitively - it doesn't mean we do for each other, but that we demand exclusively of each other. "Dodi li" means whatever Hashem wants, He asks only of me and no other nation. "Va'ani lo" means whatever I need, I ask only of Him and no other gods. This defines a loving relationship not as mutual service, but as exclusive dependency - like business partners who hate each other versus lovers who choose each other exclusively even when they could get their needs met elsewhere.
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Eicha 1:21, Shir Hashirim 6:3
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