Redefining Yourself: The True Meaning of Comforting Mourners

Rabbi Zweig opens with a fundamental question from Parshas Vayeishev: Why couldn't Yaakov Avinu be comforted over the loss of Yosef? The Torah (תורה) tells us that Yaakov mourned for twenty-two years and refused all attempts at comfort from his sons and daughters. Rashi (רש"י) explains that a person cannot be comforted over someone who is still alive—since Yosef was actually alive, Hashem (ה׳) prevented Yaakov from forgetting him, and therefore he could not be comforted. Yet this raises a perplexing question: if Yaakov somehow knew Yosef was alive (which prevented his comfort), why was he mourning at all? A Midrash records that a Roman matron asked Rabbi Yose ben Chalafta: How could Yehuda, who was strong (gibor), comfort himself after losing his wife and sons, while Yaakov, even greater than Yehuda, could not be comforted? Rabbi Yose answered that it was because Yosef was still alive. This raises another question: what does comfort have to do with strength (gevurah)? Why is the ability to be comforted described as requiring power?