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Why does the Torah (תורה) permit taking a captive woman when faced with desire, and how does this connect to ben sorer umoreh? The shiur develops a psychological reading: yefat toar represents self-destructive behavior that destroys self-worth. A father without self-respect raises a ben sorer umoreh who also engages in self-destruction, unable to stop escalating harmful behavior because he has no anchor of self-worth.
This shiur presents a psychological analysis of the seemingly contradictory laws in Parshat Ki Seitzei regarding yefat toar and ben sorer umoreh. The speaker begins by highlighting several difficult questions: Why does the Torah (תורה) permit taking a captive woman when faced with uncontrollable desire (lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yetzer hara)? How can we understand the progression from yefat toar to ben sorer umoreh to one who curses God (mekallel)? Why is there an apparent contradiction between the ben sorer umoreh who is killed 'al shem sofo' (because of his future) while Yishmael was judged 'b'asher hu sham' (as he was at that moment)? The key insight offered is that yefat toar represents self-destructive behavior. The soldier sees a woman who is 'lo na'ah lo' - not suitable for him. Even while desiring her, he knows she's wrong for him, yet cannot control himself. This creates a person with no self-respect who feels alienated from himself. Such behavior while knowing it's self-destructive leads to profound shame and low self-esteem.
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Parshas Ki Teitzei
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