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Why must the husband tell his wife to light Shabbos (שבת) candles, and why specifically b'nichusa (gently)? The shiur develops the Rambam (רמב"ם)'s chiddush that hadlakas neiros is a joint mitzvah (מצוה): the husband initiates by directing, the wife fulfills by lighting. Speaking b'nichusa ensures the mitzvah remains hers; raising one's voice pressures her and transforms the action into his, not hers.
The Gemara (גמרא) on Gittin 6b teaches that a husband must say three things to his household erev Shabbos (שבת): "Isartem? Eiravtem? Hadliku es haner?" Critically, these words must be said b'nichusa (gently). The Gemara explains: "ki heich lekablu minei" — so that they will accept it from him. Rabbi Zweig raises several difficulties with this teaching. First, the Gemara's reasoning seems backwards — usually raising one's voice is more effective at getting things done, not lowering it. Second, the Gemara previously stated that speaking harshly (b'eimah yeseira) can lead to chillul Shabbos, yet here the reason given is different. Third, this appears to be a general principle of interpersonal conduct rather than a specific hilchos Shabbos din. Rashi (רש"י) explains that the question format changes to a statement with "Hadliku es haner" because in a small house, one can see whether the candles are lit. Therefore, it's not a question but a directive. Rabbi Zweig challenges this: it means the Mishna is only discussing a one-room house, an extreme limitation. Moreover, according to Rashi, sometimes only two things need to be said (when candles are already lit), contradicting the Mishna's statement of "sheloshah devarim."
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Gittin 6b
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Why does the Gemara present a kal v'chomer for chuppah making kiddushin based on kesef not being maichel b'terumah, only to reject it? The shiur reveals that even the rejected kal v'chomer establishes a fundamental yesod: kiddushin is a kinyan for ishus (marital relationship), not merely a kinyan in hilchos kinyanim. The second kal v'chomer—from chuppah being gomeres—raises Tosafos's famous question.
Is the kesef used in kiddushin a true kinyan (acquisition), or merely a symbolic means of establishing marriage? The shiur analyzes multiple interpretations of the Gemara's derivation from ki yikach ki'ach mi'Sayeffron, exploring whether marriage constitutes ownership, and develops three fundamental approaches: (1) The Gemara proves ishus is a kinyan, (2) ishus is not a kinyan but uses kinyan-like means, or (3) ishus is a kinyan but the kesef may not be a ma'aseh kinyan. The Rambam's position—calling kesef "midivrei sofrim"—is explained as distinguishing between cross-referencing concepts versus borrowing terminology.
Why does the Mishna alternate between the language of "kinyan" (acquisition) and "kiddushin" (sanctification) when describing marriage? The shiur develops a fundamental distinction: marriage has two separate aspects—a kinyan dimension (ownership) and a kedusha dimension (sanctified relationship). Either aspect can initiate the bond, and understanding this dual nature resolves multiple textual and halachic questions throughout the sugya.
Does kiddushei shetar require a shevah pruta? The Ran presents two approaches to the Rif's position. The shiur develops the Ran's second pshat that shetar kiddushin functions as a hachnah (exchange) rather than a mere kinyan nesina. This reading has profound implications for isuri hana'ah, mechubar, and the relationship between kesef and shetar.
