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Why did Yaakov answer Esav's question about "the women and children" by saying only "these are my children"? The Ramban (רמב"ן)'s difficulty reveals a fundamental distinction: Yaakov viewed women primarily as mothers, while Esav viewed them as wives first. This difference in priorities has profound implications for modern families struggling with career pressures and child-rearing responsibilities.
Rabbi Zweig addresses what he considers the single greatest change in family dynamics over the past 30-50 years: the shift from viewing women primarily as mothers to viewing them primarily as wives and career partners. He argues this fundamental reorientation has created widespread dysfunction in Jewish families, with children lacking parental presence and self-esteem. The shiur's primary textual basis comes from Parshas Vayishlach, where Esav asks Yaakov about "the women and children" he sees, and Yaakov responds, "These are the children that the Almighty gifted me with." The Ramban (רמב"ן) asks why Yaakov only mentioned children when asked about both women and children, suggesting Yaakov felt it improper to discuss the women. Rabbi Zweig proposes an alternative: Yaakov's answer addressed both parts of the question because to him, the women were defined first and foremost as mothers of the children, not as independent entities.
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Bereishis 33:5 (Vayishlach), Bereishis 31:17, 36:6, 30:23
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