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Why did the angel tell Hagar to return and "take abuse" from Sarah? The shiur develops a profound yesod that most abuse stems from unrealistic expectations about relationships. When we raise the bar after being hurt, we create cycles of perceived abuse that destroy marriages and friendships.
Rabbi Zweig analyzes the story of Hagar's flight from Sarah in Parshas Lech Lecha to reveal a fundamental principle about human relationships and perceived abuse. When Sarah gave Hagar to Avrohom as a surrogate mother, Hagar began to view herself as wife number two rather than a maidservant. This shift in perspective led her to feel abused by Sarah's treatment, even though Sarah's behavior hadn't changed. The key insight emerges from the angel's instruction to Hagar: "Return to your mistress and take abuse under her hands." Targum Onkelos translates this puzzling command differently - the first instance of "abuse" remains as abuse, but the second becomes "work for her." This reveals that the same actions can be either abusive or normal depending entirely on one's perspective and expectations.
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Parshas Lech Lecha - Hagar's flight from Sarah
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