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Why does the Torah (תורה) permit marrying a captive woman instead of simply forbidding it? The shiur develops a profound yesod: when the Torah itself incites the yetzer hara (by commanding war, which awakens aggression and conquest), it cannot respond with repression. Instead, it presents the consequences—hating the wife, a rebellious son—so the soldier makes his own informed decision not to take her, channeling his need to conquer into self-mastery. This is the prototype avodah of Elul: ani l'dodi v'dodi li—a love relationship where I choose what's good for me, not servitude under pressure.
This shiur analyzes Parshas Ki Seitzei's laws of Yefas Toar (the captive woman) and Ben Sorer Umoreh (the rebellious son) to uncover a fundamental principle in avodas Hashem (ה׳)—particularly relevant to the month of Elul. The Zohar identifies Yefas Toar as the Torah (תורה)'s prototype for struggling with the yetzer hara and links the month of mourning (for mother and father) to Elul. But several questions arise: Why is this mitzvah (מצוה) singled out as the paradigm of yetzer hara struggle, when every mitzvah involves that? What does it have to do with Elul specifically? And how do we understand Rashi (רש"י)'s statement "lo dibra Torah k'neged yetzer hara"—does the Torah really permit something just because a person can't control himself, effectively advocating surrender? Rabbi Zweig explains that war creates a unique situation. The Torah obligates a Jewish man to be a soldier—to cultivate aggression, hostility, courage, and psychological dominance over enemies. These traits are antithetical to the character of Yaakov and parallel the traits of Eisav. Moreover, these same characteristics—conquest, dominance, gevurah—are intrinsically linked to the conquest of women (as Rashi describes Eisav's relationships as "conquests," sod nashim). Thus, the Torah itself, by commanding war, awakens in the soldier a powerful yetzer hara for Yefas Toar. This is unlike any other mitzvah, where the yetzer exists naturally and the Torah commands restraint. Here, the mitzvah generates the yetzer.
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Parshas Ki Seitzei: Yefas Toar (Devarim 21:10-14), Ben Sorer Umoreh (Devarim 21:18-21)
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