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Why does the Gemara (גמרא) mandate that a husband tell his wife to light Shabbos (שבת) candles "b'nichusa" (pleasantly)? The shiur develops a fundamental yesod from the Rambam (רמב"ם) and Tikkunei Zohar that Hadlakas Ner Shabbos is inherently a joint mitzvah (מצוה) of husband and wife, expressing shalom bayis through shared responsibility. When done with fear rather than partnership, it defeats the entire purpose and can lead to serious spiritual consequences.
The shiur opens with a Gemara (גמרא) in Gittin 6b discussing a fundamental principle: one should not instill fear ("lo yamil emo yesar") into one's household. The Gemara derives this from the tragic story of Pilegesh B'Givah—because the woman was terrified of her husband, she fled, leading to catastrophic consequences. The Gemara teaches that such fear can lead to three serious transgressions: gilui arayos (sexual immorality), shfichas damim (bloodshed), and chilul Shabbos (שבת) (desecration of the Sabbath). The Gemara then presents a Mishna stating that a husband must say three things on Erev Shabbos: "Isartem" (Did you tithe?), "Eiravtem" (Did you make an eruv?), and "Hadliku es haner" (Light the candles). Critically, the Gemara adds that these must be said "b'nichusa" (in a pleasant manner) so that "tekabel minei" (she will accept it from him). Rashi (רש"י) explains that the first two are questions because the husband cannot see whether they were done, but the third—lighting candles—is stated as a command rather than a question because if the candles are already lit, it's visible and need not be asked.
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Gittin 6b
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Why does the Gemara present a kal v'chomer for chuppah making kiddushin based on kesef not being maichel b'terumah, only to reject it? The shiur reveals that even the rejected kal v'chomer establishes a fundamental yesod: kiddushin is a kinyan for ishus (marital relationship), not merely a kinyan in hilchos kinyanim. The second kal v'chomer—from chuppah being gomeres—raises Tosafos's famous question.
Is the kesef used in kiddushin a true kinyan (acquisition), or merely a symbolic means of establishing marriage? The shiur analyzes multiple interpretations of the Gemara's derivation from ki yikach ki'ach mi'Sayeffron, exploring whether marriage constitutes ownership, and develops three fundamental approaches: (1) The Gemara proves ishus is a kinyan, (2) ishus is not a kinyan but uses kinyan-like means, or (3) ishus is a kinyan but the kesef may not be a ma'aseh kinyan. The Rambam's position—calling kesef "midivrei sofrim"—is explained as distinguishing between cross-referencing concepts versus borrowing terminology.
Why does the Mishna alternate between the language of "kinyan" (acquisition) and "kiddushin" (sanctification) when describing marriage? The shiur develops a fundamental distinction: marriage has two separate aspects—a kinyan dimension (ownership) and a kedusha dimension (sanctified relationship). Either aspect can initiate the bond, and understanding this dual nature resolves multiple textual and halachic questions throughout the sugya.
Does kiddushei shetar require a shevah pruta? The Ran presents two approaches to the Rif's position. The shiur develops the Ran's second pshat that shetar kiddushin functions as a hachnah (exchange) rather than a mere kinyan nesina. This reading has profound implications for isuri hana'ah, mechubar, and the relationship between kesef and shetar.
