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What does it mean when a man says "harei at mekudeshes li chatzi" (you are betrothed to me by half)? Is he crazy, or is he revealing the true nature of his commitment? The shiur develops the view that "chatzi ish" expresses the emotional reality that marriage competes with other commitments—career, learning, or even another wife—and explores how different kiddushin formulations (kesef, shtar, bi'ah) create fundamentally different mechanisms of relationship.
The shiur analyzes the Gemara (גמרא) in Kiddushin 6b concerning the statement "harei at mekudeshes li chatzi" (you are betrothed to me by half). The Gemara states that if a man says to a woman, "Half of you is betrothed to me," she is not betrothed, because the verse says "ish" (a man) takes "isha" (a woman), not half a woman. Similarly, if he says "chatzi ish" (half of me is betrothed to you), she is also not betrothed. Rashi (רש"י) explains that the problem with "chatzi isha" is that the man is leaving something over—he is not taking all of her, and therefore cannot marry her because he is leaving room for someone else. This raises a difficulty: the Rambam (רמב"ם) (Hilchos Ishus) first states that if someone says "chatzi mekudeshes li," it is invalid because he is leaving over room for someone else. But immediately afterward, the Rambam discusses a case where two people are mekadesh her at once—which seems worse than merely leaving over room. If the problem is leaving over room, how much more so when someone else actually takes that other half?
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Kiddushin 6b
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