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What does "Dodi Li V'Ani Lo" mean in Shir HaShirim? Rashi (רש"י) reads it not as "he does for me, I do for him," but as "when He needs something, He asks only me; when I need something, I ask only Him." Unlike a business partnership where each side serves its own interests, a loving relationship means doing for each other because we care — and that reframes Elul as building closeness with Hashem (ה׳), not just racking up points before judgment.
The shiur explores Rashi (רש"י)'s explanation of the phrase "Dodi Li V'Ani Lo" in Shir HaShirim, which is the basis for the well-known Elul theme of "Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li." Most people understand "Dodi Li" to mean "my beloved is for me" — He does things for me, takes care of me — and "V'Ani Lo" to mean "I am for Him" — I do what He wants. Rabbi Zweig points out that Rashi reads the passage very differently: "Dodi Li" means when He wants something, He asks me (not that He does for me), and "V'Ani Lo" means when I want something, I ask Him (not that I do for Him). Rashi adds that when Hashem (ה׳) wants something — Korban Pesach (פסח), Bikkurim, other mitzvos — He asks only us, not the nations. And when we want something, we ask only Him, not avodah zarah. The shiur asks why Rashi didn't interpret the verse in the straightforward way — mutual doing for each other — and why asking and being asked is the definition of a loving relationship rather than simply doing for one another. The answer lies in understanding what constitutes genuine love versus a transactional partnership. In a business relationship, each partner does for the other, but only because it benefits himself. I do for you because what I get in return justifies the effort. You do for me for the same reason. There is nothing necessarily loving or caring in such a relationship — two people who dislike each other can remain in a productive partnership as long as it serves their respective interests. The moment one party no longer needs the other, the relationship dissolves.
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Rashi on Shir HaShirim
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