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Why do we owe appreciation even when someone helps us for selfish reasons? The Torah (תורה) teaches that our obligation depends on the benefit received, not the giver's motive. Only harmful treatment can discharge our debt of gratitude.
This shiur examines a fundamental principle of Torah (תורה) ethics through the story of Og, who informed Avrohom about Lot's capture. Rashi (רש"י) explains that Og's motive was nefarious - he hoped Avrohom would die in battle so he could marry Sarah. Yet centuries later, Moshe Rabbeinu feared attacking Og because of the merit from this very act. This apparent contradiction leads to a crucial insight about human obligation and gratitude. Rabbi Zweig argues that the Torah operates on a principle most people psychologically resist: our obligation to others depends entirely on the benefit we received, not on the giver's motives. Using the paradigmatic example of honoring parents, he demonstrates that parents have children for fundamentally selfish reasons - continuity, the joy of giving, pride in their children's accomplishments, and even practical support in old age. Yet children remain fully obligated to honor their parents because they received genuine benefits: life, care, education, and emotional support.
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Parshas Lech Lecha - Og informing Avraham about Lot's capture
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Why does the Torah give a detailed accounting of silver and copper but not gold in Parshas Pekudei? The three metals represent three types of givers: those who give selflessly (gold), those seeking a two-way benefit (silver), and those buying honor (copper). The Midrash's three groups suspecting or praising Moshe reveal more about themselves than about Moshe—we judge others by our own standards.
