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How could Shlomo HaMelech say Yitzchok 'hated' Esav when the Torah (תורה) states Yitzchok loved him? The answer distinguishes between loving the child and avoiding parenting responsibilities. When parents rely only on love without discipline, children learn there are no real consequences, making proper chinuch impossible.
Rabbi Zweig analyzes a profound Midrash Rabba on Parashas Shemos that quotes Shlomo HaMelech: 'Chosech shivto soneh b'no' - if you hold back your stick, you hate your child. The Midrash applies this to Avrohom, Yitzchok, and Dovid HaMelech, who all had problematic children (Yishmael, Esav, and Avshalom respectively) because they failed to discipline them properly. In contrast, Yaakov's children were all righteous because he was strict with them. The apparent contradiction emerges: how can Shlomo HaMelech say Yitzchok 'hated' Esav when the Torah (תורה) explicitly states 'Yitzchok loved Esav'? Rabbi Zweig resolves this by distinguishing between loving the child and hating the responsibilities of fatherhood. Yitzchok genuinely loved Esav as a person but avoided the difficult task of discipline because it would create conflict and potentially damage their relationship. This represents a common parental rationalization: 'My child knows I love him, so he won't want to embarrass me, making discipline unnecessary.'
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Parashas Shemos - Midrash Rabba
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