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What is true love—getting pleasure from someone or feeling connected to them? The shiur contrasts Hagar's reaction (fleeing from her dying child) with the Shunammite woman (holding her child until death), revealing that love based on pleasure fails when it hurts. Real love means feeling validated and connected regardless of circumstances.
The shiur explores a fundamental misunderstanding about the nature of love through several Torah (תורה) narratives from Parshas Vayeira. Rabbi Zweig contrasts two stories of mothers facing their children's deaths: Hagar, who throws Yishmael under bushes and flees because she cannot bear to watch him die, and the Shunammite woman from the haftarah, who holds her dying child on her lap until the end. These represent two fundamentally different approaches to love. The shiur introduces the Rambam (רמב"ם)'s categorization (based on Aristotle) of different levels of love. The first and lowest level is love based on benefit or pleasure—loving someone because of what you get from them. The second level is "ahavat bitachon"—security-based love where one feels so validated and accepted that they know their relationship won't change regardless of what they reveal about themselves. This creates tremendous menuchah (peace) and security.
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Parshas Vayeira
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