Shlomo's Unwise Self-Assessment: The Dangers of Self-Deception

Full Summary

Rabbi Zweig analyzes a perplexing verse from Koheles (1:18) where Shlomo HaMelech states "rob chachma rob kas" - with more wisdom comes more anger. According to Rashi (רש"י), this refers to how Shlomo's superior intelligence led him to anger the Almighty by marrying too many wives, believing his wisdom would protect him from their negative influence. The fundamental question emerges: when the Torah (תורה) provides a reason for a commandment (kings shouldn't have many wives because they will lead him astray), can someone claim the reason doesn't apply to them? Rabbi Zweig establishes through Talmudic sources that this principle is actually correct - when the Torah gives a reason, there can be exceptions where the reason doesn't apply. The Gemara (גמרא) states that if all wives were like Avigail (righteous), even 50 would be permissible. Similarly, Rabbi Shimon derived that security deposits could be taken from wealthy widows since the underlying concern (suspicious nighttime visits to return clothing) wouldn't apply. So Shlomo's principle was sound - the issue was his application of it to himself. This leads to Rabbi Zweig's central insight: while we can make objective assessments about others despite having personal interests (and the Torah expects us to overcome our biases), we cannot make objective assessments about ourselves. We are "one with ourselves" and lack the ability to truly see who we are. The Hebrew word "chochma" (wisdom) fundamentally means objectivity - the ability to see things as they truly are. Shlomo's great objectivity became his downfall because it led him to believe he could be objective about himself, which is impossible. Rabbi Zweig cites the Gemara's account of Yochanan ben Zakai, who despite his greatness, admitted uncertainty about his spiritual destination before death. People routinely deceive themselves about their character traits - often believing their greatest weakness is their greatest strength. The Kotzker Rebbe noted that even actions "for the sake of heaven" might not truly be so. The practical solution requires finding trusted individuals - ideally spouses or close friends - who can help us see ourselves through their eyes. These advisors should acknowledge their own biases but commit to overcoming them for our benefit. We need people who will tell us the truth about who we are, not what we want to hear. This represents a crucial form of marital and friendship communication - creating relationships where we can discover our true selves through the honest perspective of those who love us.