Gemilut Chasadim: The Art of Giving Without Causing Shame

Rabbi Zweig opens by analyzing Parshas Terumah's command "v'yikchu li terumah" (they shall take for Me a contribution), exploring several textual difficulties. He questions the definition of "Bnei Yisrael" in this context, noting that women clearly participated in giving for the Mishkan (such as the mirrors for the kiyor), yet were not counted in the machatzis hashekel. Additionally, he examines why only those aged twenty and above participated in the machatzis hashekel and the silver for the adanim, as evidenced by the calculation of 100 kikar corresponding to 603,550 men. This raises the question of why thirteen-year-olds, who are halachically adults and could own property, were excluded from these contributions. The shiur then transitions to its central theme through the Gemara (גמרא)'s teaching about Ephron and Avrohom at the Cave of Machpelah. When Sarah died, Ephron offered the burial plot as a gift, saying "the land I give you." Yet moments later, when Avrohom insisted on paying, Ephron demanded 400 shekel of silver in cash. The Gemara states that "reshaim promise much but don't deliver even a little," while "tzaddikim say little but deliver much." Rabbi Zweig explains that Ephron's apparent inconsistency reveals a fundamental truth about human motivation in chesed (חסד): Ephron genuinely wanted to give the gift when he thought he would receive public recognition—plaques, honor, communal standing. Once Avrohom insisted on paying, eliminating any possibility of recognition, Ephron's motivation evaporated. This teaches that many people perform chesed not primarily for the recipient's benefit, but for the satisfaction, recognition, or good feeling it provides the giver.