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Why did Elisha ben Abuyah, raised to learn Torah (תורה), become irreligious? The Midrash blames his father's selfish motivations, but this contradicts the Rambam (רמב"ם)'s teaching that external motivations lead to pure intentions. The resolution shows that abused children cannot transcend ulterior motives because emotional pain blocks their ability to enjoy learning itself, making parental love the prerequisite for spiritual growth.
Rabbi Zweig addresses two pressing parenting issues: children going off the derech and bullying, using a story from Kohelet chapter 7 as his foundation. He analyzes the Midrash's account of Elisha ben Abuyah, the great scholar who became irreligious, whose father dedicated him to Torah (תורה) learning after witnessing a divine fire at a brit milah celebration. The Midrash attributes Elisha's spiritual downfall to his father's improper motivations - seeking personal honor rather than the child's benefit. This presents a theological puzzle: the Rambam (רמב"ם) teaches that all learning must begin with external motivations (candy for young children, progressing to clothing, money, and honor), following the principle of 'mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma' - from ulterior motives one comes to pure intentions. How then could Elisha's father's approach be wrong when it follows this prescribed path?
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Kohelet 7:8
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What connects all the characteristics Koheles attributes to a ksil - anger, putting others down, and asking foolish questions? The shiur identifies the common thread as a control syndrome, where the fool believes he owns his world rather than recognizing God's ultimate authority. This lens explains the puzzling connection between withholding gifts from kohanim and the sotah case - both stem from inappropriate attempts to control others.
