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Why does Koheles say it's better to attend funerals than weddings, and how can Rashi (רש"י)'s explanation about reciprocal benefit align with chesed (חסד) shel emes? The shiur distinguishes two types of chesed: expansive kindness that builds relationships, and self-diminishing personal service that imitates God's tzimtzum. At funerals one performs both types, making it superior to weddings where only expansive chesed occurs.
Rabbi Zweig tackles one of Rashi (רש"י)'s most difficult interpretations in Koheles 7:2, where the verse states it is better to go to a house of mourning than to a house of celebration. While the simple understanding suggests that confronting mortality brings seriousness and accountability, Rashi offers a radically different explanation that initially seems to contradict fundamental principles of chesed (חסד). Rashi explains that at a house of mourning, one performs kindness for both the living (mourners) and the dead, while at a wedding, kindness is only for the living. He further states that since death is everyone's destination, one should participate in funeral rites because they will need such kindness themselves someday. This appears to violate the principle of chesed shel emes (true kindness) - kindness to the dead which expects no reciprocation.
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Koheles 7:2
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