All Efforts Must be Toward a Relationship

Full Summary

Rabbi Zweig opens his analysis of Koheles chapter 3 with the famous verse "For everything there's a time, and there's a time for everything under the heavens." He distinguishes between two Hebrew words for time: zman (designated time, related to preparation) and eis (the present moment, related to 'now'). Through Rashi (רש"י)'s commentary and a fascinating Midrash, he explains that zman represents times when God has designated His involvement, while eis represents our living in the moment. The Midrash cites examples: Adam HaRishon had designated times for entering and leaving the Garden of Eden, Noah for entering and leaving the ark, and Avraham for circumcision. The Jewish people had two designated times for circumcision as a nation. Rabbi Zweig addresses a classic question: why didn't Avraham perform circumcision before God commanded it, when he fulfilled all other mitzvos? His answer: circumcision is a bris (covenant), which requires two parties. Unlike other mitzvos that involve self-perfection, a covenant demands mutual agreement - you cannot merge unilaterally, just as you cannot marry yourself. The core teaching emerges: spiritual work isn't merely about self-improvement but about developing a relationship with the Almighty. When God designates specific times (zman) and we respond in the present moment (eis), we create meaningful spiritual encounters called moed (meeting times, like holidays). This prevents spiritual activity from becoming mere 'spiritual exercise' - which Rabbi Zweig warns can be spiritually destructive. Using powerful marriage analogies, he explains how one-sided giving without reciprocal appreciation becomes abuse rather than love. A parent who constantly gives to an unappreciative child, or a spouse who gives without receiving recognition, is engaging in self-destruction. The Rambam (רמב"ם) actually forbids doing favors for those who show no appreciation, as it constitutes self-abuse. Rabbi Zweig reframes the Garden of Eden narrative: Adam wasn't meant to live there permanently but to develop spiritually there before leaving to perfect the world together with God. The Garden was like a temple - a place for spiritual development and relationship-building, not permanent residence. Similarly, Noah's ark was a temporary spiritual island before rebuilding the world. The broader message emphasizes that all meaningful accomplishments require partnership. Since nothing material lasts forever (Rashi's point), our purpose isn't creating permanent achievements but developing relationships - with God, family, and community. When spiritual activities lack divine partnership or human appreciation, they become destructive rather than elevating. True spiritual work happens when our present-moment choices (eis) align with God's designated times (zman), creating the sacred meetings (moadim) that elevate both partners in the divine-human relationship.