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How does the Torah (תורה) permit taking a yefas toar when soldiers must simultaneously control their thoughts in the war camp? The Torah is not permitting lust but transforming it: the soldier may be with her only once, but solely if his intention is matrimony (v'lakachta lcha l'isha). This converts an act of conquest into an act of responsibility — not a license to sin, but a sublimation of the drive into commitment.
The parsha of yefas toar presents a profound difficulty. The Torah (תורה) appears to permit a soldier to take a captive woman because he cannot control his yetzer hara ("dibra Torah k'neged yetzer hara"). Yet this seems to contradict the entire Torah, which demands we control our urges. Moreover, the same parsha requires soldiers in the war camp to meticulously guard their thoughts against any hirhur of lust. If a person can control his thoughts, surely he can control his actions — yet the Torah seems to say the opposite: you must control your thoughts, but you cannot control your actions. This is inexplicable. Furthermore, the Gemara (גמרא) in Kiddushin describes the yefas toar as "mutav sheyochol basar temusas shechutas" — better to eat properly slaughtered meat than neveilah. But how can the Gemara call this "basar shechuta" when at this stage there has been no conversion and the relationship is still forbidden? The Torah permitting something does not make it permissible in essence; it remains forbidden. Additionally, the language "eishet yefas toar" is awkward — it should say "yefas toar she'hi eishet ish" (a beautiful woman who happens to be married), not "wife of yefas toar." And why does the Torah permit even a married woman (eishet ish), when there are unmarried captives available?
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Ki Seitzei 21:10-14
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What is the primary purpose of the cities of refuge - protecting the accidental killer or something else? The shiur argues that creating respect for law takes precedence over providing sanctuary. True deterrence comes from recognizing the gravity of murder itself, not fear of punishment.
